God's love never dies, God's love goes on





God's love never dies, God's love goes on...

 





In this post, I would like to share a chapter of my life journey with you. I don't know where you are living but my world is far from perfect. I regularly have doubts, fears and disappointments in my life. During those times, we all need stabs of inspiration to reinforce, encourage and motivate us. The title of this post was birthed in my heart way back in 1987 while living on the beautiful island of Rarotonga in the Cook Islands.

"God's love never dies, God's love goes on." Those were the words from the Pastor who officiated the burial ceremony of my late husband and the father of my two boys.  The month was October, in the year 1987.  The words jolted me back to reality. We were at the graveside and the service was about to end.  Our eyes were focused on the coffin as it was being lowered into the grave.  The pastor's words were ringing in my ears. I remember holding on to my two children aged nine and three years at the time. I looked up to the sky thinking, how could a loving God take away the father of two boys who were so young! Nevertheless, the coffin soon disappeared into its resting place and then he was gone! The Pastor was talking about a love that doesn't end. The words sounded ridiculous, and didn't make any sense, as the love of our lives was now buried and gone!

Our move to live in the Cook Islands, took seven years to materialise. We had sold our house and in May 1987, we made the move. The plan was to start a new life; have our own business and raise our children in the islands. But, like a thief in the night, death came and smashed our hopes and dreams that year. Why us Lord? And what did the Pastor mean by those words?

Anyone who has experienced the loss of loved ones will identify with some of the feelings and emotions that I went through. I was angry with God, angry with the children's father, angry with myself for agreeing to the move. How could he? How dare (I thought) he took us there and then died on us. I had given up a good job with a reputable carpet manufacturer in Auckland and had begun studies towards a qualification in business management. I was on my way to building a career in sales.  In the story of Ruth, the Bible talks about Naomi losing her husband and her two sons while living in the land of Moab (Book of Ruth). Naomi must have dreaded returning to her homeland of Bethlehem. The 'milk and honey' in Moab had run out, and Naomi didn't want to face people back home and  be seen as a failure. That's exactly how I felt. We were new arrivals in Rarotonga and we were practically still strangers to most people.  I was overcome with fear; fear of the future, fear of raising my children on my own...  The future looked bleak. Still, in the back  of my mind were the Pastors' words, "God's love never dies, God's love goes on."

Rarotonga, the capital of the Cook Islands is a beautiful place. We soon got to know our new neighbors and the many relatives of my late husband who lived on the island. Fruits and vegetables were plentiful and we lacked nothing in the way of food. We were surrounded by family land yielding an abundance of  pawpaws, kumaras, oranges, pineapples, bananas etc.  In the early days, people would just leave food items outside our doorsteps, and we never really got to find out who some of them were.  Looking back, it really didn't matter who they were. The angels were busy in that part of Rarotonga, blessing a widow and her sons. Also living on the island was an ex-college friend and his family, who were missionaries with Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Their home became our home and many of our happiest memories on the island were spent with them on that YWAM base. I continued to ponder on those words from the Pastor, "God's love never dies, God's love goes on."   

In the following year, my sons and I accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour.  What does God do with a desperate, insecure woman and two fatherless children? I believe He smiles as He lifts them up to His presence. I love that scripture in Zephanaiah, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17). It felt like that as we were accepted into our new church who welcomed us with open arms.  As love was extended to us, love also grew in our hearts for our new found family. We never missed church on a Sunday or any of the church activities like Bible studies/home groups, camps, outreaches... The Papa's and Mama's (older men & women) taught me to pray. I loved listening to those 'fired up' Christians praying. I had no understanding that you can cry and talk to God like that. It inspired me in the area of prayer and I believe I was hooked on praying and talking to God way back then. The Bible studies in the homes gave much joy and something to  look forward to. It was in Rarotonga that my love to study God's Word was nurtured.

Something else was happening too.  My faith and understanding of God's love grew and the Pastor's words on the day of the funeral started to make sense. I came to appreciate God's love and kindness through other people. Prior to becoming a Christian, I lived a very materialistic life. Success to me, was measured by material possessions and God knows we had more than what we needed.  In Rarotonga, God met our needs in many ways. Through our church family our need for belonging was met. I had a good job and God gave us many friends in, and outside of the church. Their love and kindness helped to heal our loss. I'm deeply thankful to God for our Rarotongan families and friends.

In keeping my testimony real and balanced, I also want to say that there were many times of loneliness too. We still missed the physical presence of my children's father.  His chair at the dining table was always empty.  We drew on memories of our eleven-year marriage. We shared memories and I reinforced memories that the boys could  remember of them doing things with their father. God also used nature to minister His healing to us. Our house was only a couple of minutes from the beach - which was like a magnet to the boys. Many happy family times were spent there. We watched numerous sunsets, so gloriously beautiful that I referred to them as the colors of God's love. Evening would come, and we would have our devotions and prayer times there. Then the stars would come out one by one in the evening transforming the sky. My nine-year-old son taught me some of the names to the stars and the galaxies as they appeared in the sky.  We so appreciated the beauty of God's creation around us and we filled our minds with pictures of it. We loved those times as a family! I selfishly wished that my children would never grow out of that stage of their lives.

I don't know what your experience with death was like, but ours was painful and lonely at the beginning.  Thank God for my sons. As young as they were, they were so helpful with fixing things around the home. I remember our first flat tyre and my son changed it.  In God's timing, my sons will add their version of our story.  For me, I felt a tremendous sense of loss and of being abandoned. As I was always dependent on my husband for many things, his death left me with many insecurities.  I was fearful of  the future. But, things started to change when I gave my life to Jesus and He became the Lord of my life. My way of thinking changed. It was like having a new set of glasses to see life through. Just as the stars (God's love) lit up our grey skies, the  darkness (grief, doubts, fears), lifted as God's light shone into our grieving hearts. I began to see the practical side of  God's love. Most of us are familiar with the saying - "time is a great healer." And, what about the pastors words that - God's love never dies, that God's love goes on?

As my faith in God grew, so did my understanding of His Word. Our church family and the loving and nurturing environment gave us a home and place to belong. Looking back, God expressed His love through our church family and friends. He continued to reach out to love us through others.  Day by day, our physical, emotional and spiritual needs were being met. God is still doing that today as our journey continues with Him. In Psalms 68, David says this of God: "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows..." "God sets the lonely in families." As I reflect back through the years, the words of the Pastor - "God's love never dies, God's love goes on", I praise God for His faithfulness to us as a family.

 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

Prayer:  May the Lord bless you and heal your grief and sorrow. May the Almighty God restore your loss and give you fresh hope for the future, In Jesus' Name, AMEN!

For my children: Chano & Yavana Mitchell

http://speak-to-the-darkness.blogspot.com